Considering Polygamy...

After a very long day, I decided to stay home instead of going out to join some friends at happy hour. Home alone on a Friday night...every single woman's nightmare right? I did a little bit of work, had dinner, watched t.v., chatted with friends on text message, and watched 20/20. Tonight's show was on Sex and Cheating...At first I wasn't paying attention but then I heard a woman talking about the day her husband asked her to accept a polygamous relationship. He wanted to bring another woman into their marriage! She said she cried, but then decided to try it out. WTF was my first thought. How selfish of this man! The lady went on to say that over time she became friends with the new wife in her marriage. I was speechless.

But I started thinking, what would I do if my future husband asks for an open marriage or wants to bring another wife into our marriage? These days it seems that more and more people are seeking unconventional marriages and relationships. There are swing bars in every major city, a brief glance in classifieds has ads requesting threesomes, and most people are deciding to cohabitate instead of marry. I can't help but question if my old fashion ideals about relationships and marriage are outdated and giving me a slimmer chance of finding the right guy. Will I have to bend my rules to have a relationship? When is it ok to let go of certain ideas in order to have a relationship? I honestly don't know. Of course any decision that goes against a value or can result in abuse behavior is a no-no. But, if most guys cheat can I one day allow another woman into my relationship or marriage?

I recently learned that the man I had developed feelings for is engaged. I’ve known him for a little over a year and at first I had zero interest in him, but about two months ago things started to change. I saw potential in a friendship that appeared to be developing into a relationship. After I discovered he was already committed to another woman, I put a stop to continuing what was developing between us. He on the other hand would be perfectly fine “letting things develop naturally “as he says. I will be honest I was almost convinced, because I like him…a lot…but I don’t want to man share. I know that other cultures practice polygamy, and I honestly don’t understand how that works. It seems so demeaning and unfair to the women. But can it work? Am I being closed minded? Should I look into polygamy?